Seems like in today’s society more and more marriages are ending in bitter divorce. For many reasons, alcoholism, cheating, finances, difference in opinion and many more. But there was once a time when the “I Do’s” were said that two precious people were head over heels in love with each other. The world stopped, no wasnt an answer, forgiveness was deep-rooted in their hearts and love was flowing through every ounce of their bodies. But what seems to happen over the days, months and years? People change, they always do, life changes, things happen…life happens. For better, for worse happens.
I’ve been with my husband, Robbie for almost 10 years and we are not the same two people as we were the day we first met. Young, vibrant, eager for everything. Our finances have changed, homes have changed, kids, family matters, work, looks, drive, personalities have all changed. We have evolved into a lifestyle that includes running a real estate brokerage together, 4 kids, 3 dogs and a world of trials and tribulations.But during the last 10 years I can’t sit and say that divorce hasn’t ever crossed my mind because it has..several times. But usually the thought always came into theory when we were going through our “For Worse”. It’s amazing how our minds are geared during those times to just want to give up because it seems so much easier to just let go and move on. But in reality it’s not just letting go…those problems don’t go away just because you want to give up. They will follow and manifest until they are resolved. Over the years, we have learned to solve most our erratic problems together. Now I’m not saying that we always agreed or I was always right or he was always right. But we’ve grown to know each other so well that we know when its ok to back down and accept that we are truly looking out for each other. Going through life solving life’s biggest problems together…for better, for worse.
Most of my relationships before Robbie I gave up…walked away. It was the easiest thing to do and of course age had a lot to do with it. Contemplating do I really want to spend the rest of my life with this person? It’s not fair to them or to me. But there was something about Robbie that made me want this to work. Over the years he has proven to me that there was a reason why I invested so much of my time in him. He loves me for me…all of my faults, my stupid mistakes, my erratic decisions…he loves me “For Worse”. It always easier to love someone “For Better” and everyone wants to just focus on the “For Better” yet things are never always perfect. It’s so hard to want to love someone during the “For Worse”. Now I never physically acted out and demanded a divorce but I have voiced the thought to him. It’s the side of me I cant stand sometimes…the brutually honest side. Yet somehow through the grace of our love for each other we’ve worked thorough it. The sun doesn’t set without me telling him that I love him. Everyday I look for him…I seek to hear his voice. I have a dire need to hear his forgiveness, his mercy, his friendship. And then there are days I want to be alone…but then again I couldn’t imagine him not being there. Theres not that “perfect” person that’s out there. They dont exist. Never have, never will. But there is that person that’s out there that God made for you. It wasnt until the last few months Robbie and I have discovered what was missing from our marriage, our relationship. God…not religion…but God. The sweet mercy and love that only He can provide in marriages and in healthy relationships. We are still growing in our faith and relying more and more on Him….but through prayer our marriage has strengthened. The “For Worse” doesnt seem as bad when you have direction.
I begin to wonder if our marriage would have started this way if we wouldn’t have had so many bad days through the years. Now I honestly can’t sit here and pin point one of our horrible disagreements but I can name hundreds of good times we’ve shared. Weve grown, weve changed, weve fallen deeper in love. Now Im not condoning physical or emotional abuse…Ive been in that type of relationship before. Leave…it never stops. There will ALWAYS be bad days…but now we are better prepared for those days. So before you give up…walk out… say something you’ll regret, remember that you once thought the world revolved around this person. Before you say they’ve changed…look at yourself because you have also changed. Is it really worth walking out on, giving up, not trying, not forgiving? Remember you are forgiven EVERY SINGLE DAY. You are loved EVERY SINGLE DAY. You have mercy poured upon you EVERY SINGLE DAY. For Better….For Worse.